QuirkyMichael

Obsession

2010-07-09T18:46:00.004-04:00

I'm going through some old songs here on a 90s cassette tape and found this number I couldn't remember who sang it. It took me a good 20 minutes to figure it out because well... a keyword search for the song title and "90s" didn't cut it. The song is "Obsession" and I remember it being like a big deal at the time because this was an openly lesbian band. Long story short and several variations of keyword searches in Google, I found it... and remembered distinctly. How could I forget? Lesbian. The name of the group was Fem2Fem. Duh! Here are the lyrics and hopefully Google indexes it so others may find this 90s gem!

I walk the streets at night thinking about you.
I'm not sleeping thinking about you.
I'm forever walking past your window.
Are you touching some other girl I know.
You don't know what you're doing to me.

Obsession, let me go.

I [unintelligible] that winter evening.
My heart raced as I heard the phone ring.
All alone with the rain and thunder.
Could it be you just lost my number.
Time passes slowly, living on my mind.
You seem so distant; can you read the signs?
You don't know what you're doing to me.

Obsession, let me go.

Can't stop; can't let it go.
Won't you let it go.

I've the strangest feeling.
I can stop thinking about you.
Let it go.

[END]

Launch Playlist 1

2010-03-17T21:25:00.005-04:00

Paper Romance
Bonafied Lovin'

Observation

2010-02-14T16:11:00.010-05:00

What is it with gays losing their shirts as soon as they walk into a dance club? Cliché, stereotype, hilarious. Please discuss.

Tonight

2009-08-07T19:25:00.008-04:00

International Music Summit, Winner
Tonight (IMS Anthem 2009) [Above & Beyond Remix] - Dirty Vegas

Lyrics (transcribed by quirkymichael)

tonight, tonight, tonight my friend
i've got this feeling that i hope will never end
tonight, tonight, tonight i see
these precious moments that mean everything to me
i wanna be with you
right here with you

tonight, tonight, tonight it's clear
dance with shadows until morning light appears
tonight, tonight, tonight i seek
to fill with more love than I thought i'd never feel
i wanna be with you
right here with you

Delusions of Grandeur

2009-08-04T19:06:00.002-04:00

The fact of the matter is that if I'm in jail I can't do anything; so, I'd have to be more devious. There's no way I could explore myself if I knew I would be caught. But to what extent will I go to find this other person or adventure I'm dreaming of.

Still got it

2009-06-06T19:43:00.002-04:00

I'm home alone this weekend and what am I doing right now? Singing into the mirror with a hairbrush. To Aretha Franklin. I'm working on a mixtape for my sister from back when we used to go roller skating Saturday mornings with my Dad. I'm listening to "Who's Zoomin' Who." With as big and black and "entitled" as Aretha has gotten, I'd failed to remember a little musical gem like this. Thank God for 80s production.

I realized looking into the mirror that as awful as I've felt about myself this last year since exiting the gym on an injury, I'm um... I'm actually rockin' this look right now. Big hair. Big 'stache. Toned. Lean. It's not bad really. It's even a bit more over-the-top in that there's something somewhat feminine about it. I mean my build and the overall "Michael" brand. It's sort of... you don't know what to make of it. That makes me feel good. There's nothing better than being different.

I guess I'm sort of realizing that well maybe this works for me. Maybe not try to be something I'm not like behaving a certain way or looking a certain way. I'll never be big. I'll never make enough time to shave my body. I'll never be comfortable in my own skin. That is of course until I finally "get it" that is I am the way I am because I was made that way. Then I can stop worrying about all that stupid sh*t and keeping up with the young hot sh*t and start to enjoy what little time I have left on this blue ball.

If only it were that easy.

Why was The Virgin Tour never released on DVD and why can't I buy the CD?! (I'm listening to Dress You Up LIVE.) Seems like it would be a pretty desirable download for 80s folk and Madonna fans. I remember skating to this with the video screens playing the concert at Skate Station 1. Jen's going to love this.

Call me

2009-06-05T16:20:00.007-04:00

First let me say that I love my new phone and though it’s not an iPhone or something more glamorous, it gets the job done. I upgraded to an LG Vu from a Motorola RAZR. Best of all, the phone was a free refurb from AT&T. No problems with a refurb – they’re typically returns within 30-days in good condition simply because the first purchaser changed his mind or found some fault. Nevertheless, I am pleased having satisfied both being a geek for gadgets and being resourceful with money.

But this post isn’t about my new phone. It’s about the phone call I just got and the subsequent voicemail and text.

I received a call about 10 minutes ago and didn’t recognize the number. I headed over to Facebook to my phonebook there to see if I knew who it was. If all else failed, there was reverse lookup on the web. In scrolling though my F-book phonebook, I received a voicemail and then a few seconds later a text. I thought the text would be from the number of the person who called me but in fact it was a text from my voicemail… a transcribed text. (!!!) How you ask?!

GOOGLE.

I signed up for Google Voice shortly after they bought Grand Central. I used it on occasion at work to text people. At the time it was much easier than texting on my RAZR. (But that’ll change now that I have the Vu.) But I knew G-Voice transcribed; I just don’t use the number enough to have experienced it yet, and it just never occurred to me that it would happen. I mean, I guess I knew it would happen eventually but just not today which is why I’m so thrilled. It’s like I got my period.

I went into Google Voice to make sure that I had guessed right and well… there was my transcribed message and voicemail waiting for me. I clicked the play button and my computer spewed out the message which was surprisingly transcribed word for word. Well this means all sorts of new fun communication for me. Exciting!

Anyone reading… do you have a G-Voice or Grand Central number? What are your experiences?

Microsoft Announces Zune HD

2009-05-27T11:30:00.002-04:00

Perfection.

Dustin O'Halloran - Opus No 23

2009-05-24T17:16:00.003-04:00

Hiding and wondering

2009-05-24T16:45:00.015-04:00

What is it about going out and being around people that makes me so uncomfortable? When I'd much rather stay home and do nothing, my partner draws his energy from being out and about. It's not working between us in that respect although I always thought a relationship should be about yin and yang. But clearly also about similarities. I don't know that it's a problem per se but it is very confusing to me why I am the way I am... not necessarily to do with anyone else and certainly not my partner. It's about me and really turning inward and trying to understand me. Is there something wrong with me... sort of mounting social anxiety? I could blame any domestic issues with my partner on my not wanting to go out with him socially but it isn't just him. It could be anyone that wanted to franternize with me outside the home. Is this the beginning stages of reclusiveness?

It's not unlike me to think the worst... that there IS something wrong. But then I laugh it off and think to myself, "Well that's just the way I am." Because I know there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way. I sometimes think in social settings, "When is this guy going to shut up?" Because I really could care less about it. Is that wrong to think?! Am I really so isolationist?
But then I could never live alone. Be alone. Entirely really. Because I know I would just go crazy. At the height of my depression years ago, I lived alone briefly. It was awful. Left to my own devices. I don't think anyone really knows what that time was like for me. And it's not something I discuss with new friends but... . It certainly has had bearing on how I feel about balancing a social life with being alone. "Get away from me... no, that's too far; come closer."

What's wrong with me and can my relationship survive it? Can I survive it? Can I learn from these experiences to better navigate a balance between people and myself?

Just today my partner is at a barbeque with new friends and I am not there. I'm not even sure why really. It's Memorial Day weekend and I have not a thing to do. I even offered to mow the yard in my boredom. But something about the crowd and the anticipation of what was to come just seemed so overwhelming as it always does. And to the dismay of my boyfriend, I stayed home. My frustration with my own inner turmoil is then compounded by my jealousy. I start to wonder what goes on without me and if everyone else is having a good time. What are they talking about? Is a younger, more social, more handsome man wooing my boyfriend? The paranoia is hard to shake. And sadly, I don't think he understands. And I can't blame him because neither do I.

This part of the journey... these last few years have been so hard.

Keen Wire View #31

2009-05-23T12:06:00.005-04:00

Caught up with Simpson Thursday at George's.
Hip irritated and low-left abdominal pain Friday into Saturday. Resolution to stop drinking and smoking.
Missus out with friends Friday night.
Overheard more layoffs at work. Who's next in line? Getting all my ducks in a row for whatever may come.
Left foot still painful on any walk lasting 10+ minutes... going on 3-weeks now. Fracture? Domino effect of hip joint, knee and ankle? Frustrating and depressing.

The story behind the 'stache

2009-05-17T16:11:00.027-04:00

What started out as novelty has slowly morphed into a trend, conversation piece and maybe even a trademark. But then as most know anything out of the ordinary seems to be trademark for me.

The timing this year was impeccable. Milk had just come out, the economy was tanking, and there were write-ups everywhere about the resurgence of facial hair. It wasn't that much of a stretch for me though because I grow a beard every winter. It's part of a hibernation process that my friend Jason coined when we were in college.

On a drunken stupor one winter evening I decided to shave only my chin and leave the rest of the beard as it was. I liked it. I felt more different than I already did and usually do. About two months later on another drunken stupor I decided to shave the rest of the beard and shape it into a Fu Manchu - an inspiration derived from my leather/levi pals Mark and his partner Phil. It was a little harder to pull off I think in that it really brought to mind something I so completely am not.

But as another few months passed and whatever issues I was having with my work and personal life oscillated, I started to wonder if the person looking back at me in the mirror was in fact me. Maybe I could be something/someone else. Coming from a performance background getting into character was always such an interesting prospect but here I find myself thinking well who the hell am I to begin with?! I'd been so many things... .

Much as I say I'll get rid of it I haven't and don't know that I will any time soon because oddly right now it's become a physical representation of how I feel. How unsure I am of who I am, who everyone thinks I am and what the universe wants of me. And as much fun as it is and as many laughs or kudos I get it's really part of a self-discovery. Trying on different things to find out what fits me. Though if it's any indication, I've never felt more identifiable before. No kidding, right.

Mixtape Installment #3

2009-05-15T19:02:00.016-04:00

In no particular order...

Lazee ft. Nevermore - "Hold On"
Hollywood, Mon Amour - "Flashdance... What A Feeling"
The Helio Sequence - "Shed Your Love"
The Helio Sequence - "Can't Say No"
Lady Gaga - "Love Game" (Dave Aude Club Mix)
Dustin O'Halloran - "Opus No. 12"
Malcolm Middleton - "Stay" (Madonna Cover)
Peaches - "I Feel Cream"
Spank Rock - "Bump (Switch Remix)"

the polariod

2009-05-06T18:49:00.008-04:00

i found a picture of you today. you were in your teens. you seem so frail and self conscious. but i know it because i was there too.

it was that awkward time when things gave you a spill but i think in the end you came out fine.
after you grew out of being alive and shiny and wanting everyone to know who you were. you learned enough for the lesson.

you wanted to be so big and so great. you wanted to play with the other boys. to be like
the other boys. but you weren't. do you remember praying for it?
to be something else?

you were so much older than everyone your age, but so much younger too. so awkward not socialized.

i think you made some strides. i see you now much better off. i know you look back at
all your potential and wonder what happened.

it's still there.

i just wanted you to know that. you still have a lot to learn. i hope you find what you're looking for... what the universe wants from you. that will be your greatest achievement. i know it's hard to remember what with all the expectations of what we're supposed to be and supposed
to look like and how we're supposed to act.

but just be yourself. god will find you.

in the meantime enjoy yourself and take it for what it's worth. as i write this i know how hard it is. i know because i am you. i am looking at a picture of you now. but you've made strides. just remember that. it gets better i promise. i love you and god loves you and you are important.
you will do great things.

Buy me

2009-03-01T17:32:00.003-05:00

Newton Gravity Shoe. "Rubber lugs in the upper of this shoe force you to run as if you were barefoot - with the balls on your feet stricking first, not your heels. This reduces the load on the knees by 50%." (Men's Health Magazine)
Lacoste Elegance Eau de Toilette. "British researchers discovered that sandalwood is molecularly similar to a steroid found in human sweat that acts as a tranquilizer." (Men's Health Magazine)
Leatherman Skeletool. Multitool offers only the essentials: knife, screwdriver, pliers, and bottle opener. Clips onto your belt look or pack strap. (Men's Health Magazine)

RIP

2008-11-20T13:47:00.000-05:00

Friend’s Gran died yesterday so I cooked a big dinner of comfort food and picked up some beer and a movie. Training taking a back seat right now to lots going on personally. But alas I stay in the mindset that I am an athlete (at least recreationally) and simply enjoying my time away from the gym. No stress no worries. Muscle remembers.

Distractions

2008-11-19T14:59:00.002-05:00

Went to see Kings of Leon at Tabernacle last night. Definitely took my mind off any issues I’m having with my arm. I’m on a Mon-Wed-Fri schedule but reading up on injury and metal state, I’ll probably take the day off today. Feeling good though.

Rationalizing the Pain

2008-11-18T12:50:00.001-05:00

My right shoulder is bothering me. It has been for a while but I’ve been working through it. My only concern now is that it seems to have morphed and is affecting me now much more so than ever before. The pain I had been feeling started in the front deltoid and was relieved actually by rotating my arm up and backward. It felt good to stretch it that way. I wasn’t concerned that my arm cracked upon overhead movements. It always had and I had been told it was either calcium buildup or connective tissue "crunching". My ability to move freely was not affected but admittedly it was uncomfortable to freestyle laps in the pool. Nevertheless I wasn’t concerned but started to become so at the onset of a dull ache in the front delt.
The discomfort now is more in the armpit and runs down the inside of the bicep. I am under the impression this is an inflammation to the brachial plexus. Perhaps as a result of overworking the shoulder, chest or bicep. I am not sure a this point. It’s definitely frustrating and if not rested and remedied shortly I may be visiting a doctor to check me out.
Meantime I’m going to stick with other movements not directly involved with my right shoulder/arm. I hate it.

Subway parking lot

2008-04-09T14:17:00.002-04:00

Those strands of grass stemming higher than the rest stick out like sprouting, scattered facial hair on a pubescent boy. They cover the ground, unplucked, reaching up toward the sky, blowing effortlessly in the breeze. Sometimes a ladybug will land on one of the blades. Perhaps to rest. Maybe injured. And sit to wait, fluttering his wings in the warm Georgia air. This one in particular is covered with small, black dots. And surely quite old, barely responding to any moth or fly or bee that approaches him. Deaf. Blind. Old. Too cool to care. He sits. And in a moment of quick wind flowing across the field of grass, he catches the wave and is carried off.

Run.

2008-04-09T09:44:00.000-04:00

I'm trying not to be an old man; I've just started running again after breaking up with it years ago. It was a hard split but I was getting over some back issue and hitting the pavement on a regular just wasn't helping the situation.

I started maybe three weeks ago... walking mostly to start and then working up to a mile. I'm now at two miles three times a week with a 12 minute pace. It's leisurely, but that's okay. I have to remind myself that my body just isn't used to it and that it's going to take a while to get back into the swing of things.

Interestingly, I crack a lot more... my knees and toes mainly. I think this could be a number of things including improper footware, my stance/stride, my age and my fitness level. It's humbling.

To sell or to trash: Is it worth your time to list on eBay?

2007-10-24T09:37:00.000-04:00

Here's a small Excel calculator that to the best of my knowledge is a fairly accurate determinate of whether or not one should sell on eBay or toss that old thingamajig in the trash. Mind you, one should never toss in the way of landfills but in the way of charities. To reduce, reuse and recycle.
The thing about auction sites is that even if you sell and make a profit, it’s then eaten up by insertion, final value, and processing fees. You’ll want to somehow incorporate those fees into the selling price so you’re not spending money to make money. At best, it’s a wash and you breakeven but that’s okay; you were going to throw that ole thing in the trash anyway, right? But at least now you have the opportunity to boost your feedback score; so, make it a smooth transaction and make it count!

You'll want to start with the price you bought your thingamajig for. Because theoretically you'd want to get at least what you paid for it so as not to have lost anything while you owned it. That said, we’ll shoot to break even and anything on top of that consider it icing. Yum! (Note: I generally just put zero here because if I’ve had the item for a while, it’s probably depreciated enough not to matter what I initially paid for it.)

I tend default my list fee to $0.60 which covers a wide range of listing prices. But for your reference, here is eBay’s current schedule of fees for listings:

Start Price and List Fee
$0.01 - $0.99 = $0.20
$1.00 - $9.99 = $0.40
$10. - $24.99 = $0.60

Your sale fee is:

Sold for and Fee
Not Sold = No Fee
$0.01 - $25.00 = 5.25% of the closing value
$25.01 - $1,000.00 = 5.25% of the initial $25.00 ($1.31), plus 3.25% of the remaining closing value balance ($25.01 to $1,000.00)

Once you set up your own calculator in Excel, you can use a formula to help generate this number so you won’t have to keep inputting it manually.

If you choose to use Paypal, which I highly recommend, you will have a processing fee. It will cost you:

Monthly Sales and Fee
$0.00 - $3,000.00 = 2.9% + $0.30 USD

Now for shipping. I include my mailer and handling in the cost of postage. Honesty is best when it comes to shipping. People generally know when they’re being taken for a ride. Use the shipping calculator in eBay to determine this price. Sometimes if I don’t want to go through the hassle of finding out what shipping will be, I will just use a Priority Flat Rate envelope. The rate on these do not change with destination or weight so there is no guesswork or weighing. Just seal it up and send!

At this point, the only fields you have left are selling price and total cost. To get your sell price, input a number into the sell field that is a couple dollars greater than the total cost. The profit field will then light up with total profit on the sale. You then list at the sale price and ship at the shipping price.

My personal strategy is to list as close to the total cost as possible or slightly under. I really only want to breakeven anyway and do so with a fair asking price and without scaring away buyers. This calculator is a way to help me figure out what I need to list at in order for it to be cost effective.

'Barbie' drug, lose weight, heal faster

2007-05-17T09:21:00.000-04:00

Scientists call it the “Barbie Drug.”
Eat more yogurt. “Men who added three servings of yogurt a day to their diets lost 61 percent more body fat and 81 percent more stomach fat over 12 weeks than men who didn’t eat yogurt. Calcium in yogurt helps the body burn more fat and limits the amount of new fat your body can make.” (via Men's Health Magazine)
Free-spirit? Unconventional worker? Be a caretaker.
Introducing the chemical cold pack... a supplement called bromelain, shown to “reduce swelling, bruising, healing time and pain following physical injuries.” (Men's Health)

Top Design winner has a wife. "Really?!"

2007-05-02T10:41:00.000-04:00

South Carolina to introduce a bill to require ultrasound performed before a woman can undergo an abortion. Proponents say it’s important for a woman to know what’s going on inside her body and to know alternatives to aborting a fetus. I personally feel it’s just a guilt trip. Informative but not necessary, and to require it by law is ludicrous.
Insight into the Madonna-Guy relationship speculated in new painting. See it with an explanation here.
I predict and petition: Kathryn McPhee’s “Over It” to take over “Roxanne” as new alcohol-shooting song. The receptiveness lends itself well. Also drives you crazy.
Top Design winner, Matt Lorenz, has a wife and daughter. [Insert gay joke here.] Great “Really?!” segment for SNL.
Imus would not have received such bad press had he been African American and working for an R&B station. Nappy is a perfectly legitimate descriptive word.

Breaking News, R.I.P., Training Tips

2007-04-03T14:01:00.000-04:00

Two shot in downtown, Atlanta at the CNN Center. Video and details at CNN.com.
Friend and war Vet., Ron Leroux, lost his fight with cancer over the weekend, leaving this world in a cloud of cigarette smoke. (He smoked incessantly till the end; God love him.) Peace the F out, Ron; you will be missed.

A few notes from Daniel Hutchinson’s article “A Training Parable” published in Hardgainer 63, Nov/Dec ’99:

No direct work for individual body parts is necessary until you’re able move weights near the 300 lb mark.
Sizable gains in abbreviated training, one set to failure and infrequent workouts.
The big movements include the squat, deadlift, bench, press, row, chin and close-grip bench.
Notable reads include Super Squats by Randall Strossen and The Anabolic Diet by Mauro Di Pasquale.

Keen Wire View #27

2007-03-31T13:25:00.001-04:00

14-year-old boy manages to get Chris Gray Band airplay on top Georgia radio station by writing gushing letter to morning show hosts.
Howard Stern may have been an enabler, but he didn't kill Anna Nicole. Official autopsy reports released this week.
Gays making last-minute plans for Pensacola, Memorial Day weekend. Best time to book?
Heather Mills' leg stands ground, stays put.
New Provincetown bed and breakfast slated to open April 2007.

Engineering marvel, Bjork U.S. leg

2007-03-21T10:25:00.000-04:00

Indians credited for Pocahontas, scalping, dream catchers; now skywalk.
Live, work, play community Atlantic Station gets its first gun-toting, shooting and body-dumping (that we know of) … officially making it a true Atlanta neighborhood.
Bjork announces handful of U.S. tour dates with launch of new album, Volta. If it’s any indication as to how it will sound, she’s said recently that she wanted to do something more upbeat. (I’m assuming a la Post fame.) Moreover, producer Timbaland, whose past collaborations include Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake, is credited as a heavy contributor. Check out what this insider had to say.

May 02 - New York - Radio City Music Hall
May 05 - New York - United Palace Theater
May 08 - New York - Apollo Theater
May 12 - Chicago - Auditorium Theatre
May 15 - Denver - Red Rocks Amphitheatre
May 19 - San Francisco - Shoreline Amphitheatre
May 23 - Vancouver - Deer Lake Park

Mitch loses his shirt, 300 talk

2007-03-19T15:41:00.001-04:00

I’ve seen fellow blogger Mitch go from a svelte life model to a blimp and back again, and it’s good to see him on the upswing post-surgery. Mitch was kind enough to show us a little leg after losing some of the weight although I suspect from his 300 movie post that he’ll be training to lose more. And hopefully lose more than just his shirt next time. I mean, Mitch … you’re a life model; don’t be coy. We’re all adults here. Congrats so far, and keep up the good work. I want to see those abs, Mitch; can’t be Leonidas without the abs.

Like most of the reviews you’ve probably read, 300 was most everything they said it was. I caught a History Channel segment on Leonidas a week before the movie came out; so, I knew a little bit about the story going into it. And for what it was (a graphic novel turned movie), I would say what was presented was in reason. Facts may be off a bit (I think) but you get the gist of the story from the movie as a whole. I won’t go into detail about a synopsis of the film because you can get from online review sources, but I will tell you … if in the right frame of mind upon seeing the film, you will without a doubt fall in love with the cinematography and aesthetic of the film.

Despite a solid storyline, what impressed me most was the beauty in the desaturation of color, the splatter of blood (overt but not nearly as much as say Kill Bill), and the war choreography. There is a stop-motion battle scene of Leonidas that is simply amazing … almost as if it were works of art whizzing by you to form an animated picture.

The question of flesh. Yes, there’s a lot of it. But not distasteful and no more homoerotic than a rugby game or wrestling match. That said, for the straight lot of you reading this, get over it. This should be a non-issue anyway considering the recent, telling discovery that hetero guys check each other out. I was a little disappointed at the lack of female characters. The only one present is Leonidas’ wife, who I believe should really have been cast as a more ethnic woman.

Be advised, the film weaves a lot fantasy into the story (e.g. the oracle, the red-eyed wolf, et cetera); so, don’t expect anything “down to earth.” If anything, it’s a visually stunning film and well-told story, and on those merits, I would definitely recommend seeing it. The abs don’t hurt either.

Finally, speaking of Greeks, much lurve to Dimitri who celebrated his birthday at Fuego over the weekend.

Madonna's dad sick

2007-03-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

I sort of skimmed through articles on Madonna moving to New York. I didn’t realize that a main contributor to that was that her father was sick and she wanted to be closer to him … and understandably so; he has colon cancer and as we all know, Madonna’s already lost one parent to cancer. Let’s all wish Silvio a speedy recovery.

Homosexuals are "immoral" ... whooptie-doo

2007-03-16T14:22:00.000-04:00

It’s unfortunate that Pace failed to mention that there are a slew of other things that are immoral like lying, which I’m sure he’s done. Or coveting a neighbor’s wife, which may very well have happened. We don’t know; that “coveting” happens in his head and who knows what’s going on up there. The point is you can’t just pick out one thing because it suits your argument. If you’re going to play fair, let’s include the whole lot. Now, that’s assuming that homosexuality is even immoral, which it’s not.

I tend to think that what Pace meant to say is that it’s “gross.” Much the way I think “beaver” is gross and so closely resembles sliced pot roast. And that’s fine, he has a right to an opinion. The question is: so what? So you think it’s wrong … big deal. You want a medal? You gotta make a law of it to convince me you’re right and I’m wrong?

People can think what they want; again, Pace has a right to an opinion, but what he and the rest of us don’t have a right to do is infringe on someone’s basic human rights … the pursuit of life, liberty and justice.

If Pace think’s homosexuality is so immoral, then he shouldn’t be a homosexual.

Madonna book deal dunzo

2007-03-16T08:20:00.000-04:00

I was actually looking foward to reading the Nanny Dumas book about life with Madonna ... knowing what goes on inside that head and household. Just last night, my boyfriend and I were talking about how all this time no one has ever written a tell-all or sought to expose Madonna ... no disgruntled employees et cetera.

As if to confirm it, you can imagine my surprise to find an article this morning praising Madonna for her managerial style and ability to keep everyone in line (however much money or legal shushing is involved). You can also imagine how disappointed I was to also read that the proposed Melissa Dumas book was cancelled.

According to Britain's The Mirror, "Madonna, predictably enough, has risen from the lotus position to turn the full force of her legal team against rogue nanny Melissa Dumas in an attempt to silence her." (The Book Standard)

The more I think about it though, cancelling the book is probably the best thing all the way around. It protects Madonna and her family but also keeps the mystery surrounding her intact. (Tabloids give us enough as it is.)

And as much as I'd like to know, I wouldn't want her to disappear from the pedestal I've put her on. Knowing too much would just ruin it.

The DMV Officer

2007-03-15T14:19:00.000-04:00

Maybe about a month ago, my boyfriend and I were watching Talladega Nights starring Will Ferrell and laying sideways on the sofa. Ricky Bobby (Ferrell’s character) was in a driving exam with this sort of timid, DMV officer when I realized I knew the actor playing him. If you can imagine it, I quickly sat up from my sideways position and said, “Oh, my God.” I played the scene over just to make sure it was him. And it was. Conrad Ricamora … a guy I dated back in college. I quickly ran to the computer to pull up IMDB and there he was. Dumbfounded I sat there for a second scrutinizing him.

Well good for him, I thought. I never would have guessed it. Conrad was supposed to be a professional tennis player, but life certainly has a way of switching things up on you.

gPhone, Thomas Roberts redux

2007-03-15T13:59:00.000-04:00

Towleroad witness to consequences of recent West Village shootings.
Rumored Google gPhone confirmed.

I see I wasn’t the only one who thought the CNN interview with Roberts was a bit off.

…The fact that Roberts is an openly gay man and was the victim of an ongoing sexual assault by another man (and the fact that the other victim, Goles, is also gay) can very easily lead to a cause-effect conclusion in the minds of viewers (i.e., if you are molested by a priest, you will be gay; if you are a gay adult, it is likely because your sexual development was interrupted by same-sex abuse). This interview would have been a fantastic opportunity to address these misconceptions (which are already rampant) and put them to rest. (AfterElton.com)

Lobster claws, Thomas Roberts interview

2007-03-13T11:59:00.000-04:00

As I flipped back and forth last night between the Thomas Roberts interview on CNN and a program about ectrodactyly syndrome on TLC, I thought, “Thomas is nice to look at but not nice enough to keep me away from contorted, boney hands and feet.” It was just fascinating.

What got me about the Roberts interview was that I began to wonder if people watching would somehow equate his sexuality with being abused by his Priest. As if being abused made him gay and therefore completely disregarding that homosexuality is something you’re born with … not something chosen or that “happens to you.” Because I could see people thinking that, especially with Roberts because he is so believably straight. I mean, how could someone like that be gay unless something traumatic had happened to him, right?

Beyond Roberts’ good looks and that priests abuse children (let me put my surprise face on), the interview wasn’t anything different than what the public already knows. Sh^t happens, and unfortunately it happened to Roberts.

I quickly flipped back over to TLC to see what unfortunate Joan Rivers’ look-a-like, Bree Walker, was up to. Her lobster claws certainly haven’t kept her from living a normal and fulfilling life. In fact, she became quite the successful news anchor despite it all and most recently appeared in the appropriately-themed HBO series Carnivale as the Scorpion Woman. Looking back at some of her accolades and when she first started out as an anchor, this woman was stunning. But like most aging “industry” women, she seems to have succumbed to awful plastic surgery. Rather too much plastic surgery. But despite the obvious pulls and tucks, she looks unusually great.

Ectrodactyly is probably best known by Grady Stiles, Jr. who - despite being wheelchair-bound as a result of his clawed hands and feet - shot and killed his daughter’s fiancé. Dubbed Lobster Boy, he has had a lasting impact on popular culture … most notably by this photograph.

Section 8

2007-03-12T15:55:00.001-04:00

It amazes me how - driving through a neighborhood with an average price tag of $650K - I can turn a corner and end up in a Section Eight housing district. That they can exist literally on top of each other is beyond me. I can understand turning a blind eye to the state of disrepair and illegal dumping in those areas by simply avoiding them. What I can’t understand is how “the well-to-do” ignore the blatant lack of respect from neighboring ghettos in the volume of noise pollution they provide. How to enjoy a beautiful spring day in your garden with “thump-thump” pouring through the streets, over fences and into your backyard?

How could Section Eight not possibly think that it’s bothersome to others?

Legs a-flyin', Madonna goes under the knife

2007-03-12T15:46:00.000-04:00

Hateful? Yes. Legitimately curious. Indeed. The public wondering “Will Heather Mills’ prosthetic leg fly off in lift or twirl during ‘Dancing w/Stars’ stint?” Further questions: “What if it hits someone?” I personally am waiting to hear limbless performance artist, Shaye Saint John, weigh-in.
Richard Jeni shoots himself, commits suicide. Who’s Richard Jeni?
It’s rumored that Madonna will appear on the FX drama Nip/Tuck alongside ‘League of Their Own’ pal, Rosie O’Donnell. Madonna has said she’s a quite fan of the show. Yet as most of you know, she’s also said she doesn’t watch TV. How is that?

Blogger 'detained', fighting words

2007-03-09T10:17:00.000-05:00

Fellow blogger, Trent at Pink is the New Blog, held up at facility after emergency aircraft landing. Another magnet perhaps?
Isaiah Washington says the f-word and gets NAACP Image Award. Ann Coulter says the f-word not once but twice and gets applauded. If only someone would say the n-word on the heels of all this just to show how completely tilted the scales are. Because I guarantee it would be a far more devistating thing though just as an oppressive word as "faggot." Oh, wait. That's right. Michael Richards said it. Boy did he get flak about that rant. And yet nothing really was done about Isaiah or Ann. Okay, Isaiah went to rehab ... but to then be given an award based on image? Really?! Am I the only one who thinks this is - oh I don't know - a bit hypocritical? And now we hear that one can't even say vagina in approprate context, which for the record is not only PC but a correct anatomical term.

Feast on Feist

2007-03-09T10:04:00.000-05:00

Ah, the beauty of a mixtape. Or its contemporary, the mixdisc. It’s a modest, crafted way of telling that someone special how you feel or introducing new music to someone who otherwise never would have given it the time of day. Such is the case of a disc I received from an old college pal a few weeks ago. We periodically exchange new music. I get indie; she gets thump-thump. Is typically how it works.

So this would be the first time I’d heard Leslie Feist, a Canadian-born songstress … and oddly Peaches BFF. Yes, THAT Peaches. You can imagine my amazement when I found that the two had worked together because Feist has a completely different sound. In fact, at first, I actually thought I was listening to Norah Jones or Bjork. Strange that the two would even come up in the same sentence, but Feist somehow incorporates both into her vocals that’s really quite unique sounding. Very sultry and soulful. (Mushaboom.)

I got two discs that day and of the two, those that were Feist were really stand-outs. So much so that I ended up purchasing some of her other tracks from iTunes. I’ve just never heard anything like it; it’s so different and refreshing and really evokes a certain mood and moment in time … nostalgic sounding.

I mention this because she really seems to be a gem and though she falls into a pop category in digital music stores, I find her sound to be much more folk meets R&B … indie. Unless of course, she’s being remixed by The Postal Service, which offers a more electronic feel.

Nevertheless, I post because she has a new album coming out called The Reminder, slated for release on May 1. I loved Let It Die and am really looking forward to hear what she offers up in her next installment.

Intrigued? Hear more here and here.

Idol Update, AIDS Vaccine

2007-03-08T16:02:00.000-05:00

GeoVax Lab at Emory University in Atlanta closes in on AIDS vaccine.
It is Antonella. Being young, doing what young people do. Leave her alone. Everyone keeps beating the issue like a dead horse, but that’s just it. There is no issue. You can’t possibly compare her to Frenchie Davis. There’s a HUGE difference between a sexy self-portrait and arranging for someone to come in and dress you up (or down) to pose for a commercial photograph. I mean, can’t a girl take a Polaroid or two in the privacy of her own home and not have it end up plastered all over the Internet!?

So why kick her off for some stupid pictures when we could kick her off because she sings like a horse? Isn’t that what this is all about anyway? She’ll be fine after it’s all over with; I promise. That b^tch will end up on the cover of Blender, Maxim or FHM. You heard it here first.

Freshman 15

2007-03-08T11:03:00.001-05:00

She can’t be entirely responsible for coining the phrase, but Cameron Diaz was recently overheard saying she’s trying to get down to her “date weight” since breaking up with Justin Timberlake a few months back. Never mind the fact that she’s already a stick, I’d never heard that expression before.

Date weight is the weight you’re at when you’re on the prowl. Or in a broader sense, just looking healthy and refreshed … like a mini-peel. Your date weight is like a never-ending photo shoot because the scores of models you seen in perfume or underwear ads don’t always look like that. Besides the fact that they’re airbrushed, models and bodybuilding competitors don’t keep an average 8% body fat on a regular … I assure you. The same can be said about flawless skin. I say it’s like a photo shoot because these people diet to no end and drop weight just to get the perfect photograph, a moment in time. But that’s not to say they put weight back on afterwards because let’s face it, their careers depend on how fabulous they look. But again, it’s not on a regular and there are fluctuations. (Just look at Tyra.)

So there you are posing at the local meat market. Thin as all get out. You’re at your date weight. And you look amazing. Then, a relationship walks in (or some other life wrench, wanted or unwanted … illness, promotion, pregnancy). Months later, settled and loving and “I love you for what’s inside,” you start packing on the junk. And the adage becomes reality … being in a relationship adds pounds. It’s the freshman 15. For lovers.

Staring at your junk in the mirror, you begin to wonder “What the fu^k?” Because just yesterday your fat caliper said you were at 11%. Or in Cameron Diaz’ case, 1%.

Complacency maybe. Too busy juggling work, social life, partner and chores to hit the gym. (How couples with children do it is beyond me.) Freaking out you start trying little tricks like standing a lot or washing dishes by hand. Chewing gum, frequent small meals, a 10-minute walk after dinner … anything to burn an extra calorie.

I say this because it’s exactly what I do, though I think most of my “weightiness” is in my head because I haven’t in fact gained weight (at least not blatantly) … rather just become lazy. And consequently, a bit obsessive. I try not to blame anything or anyone … like turning 30, a hot significant other, or dessert (which I rarely gave in to prior to being in a relationship).

It just made me laugh when I heard Diaz call it date weight. Because that’s exactly what it is. But I think you can have both by engaging your other half in physical activity and doing things together that break sweats. Even if it’s just a walk around the block. Or a romp in the sack. The important thing is to do it together. Because once one of you starts looking trim and getting the attention of others (not that you didn’t before), your partner may start to become overbearing. Or you may want to take the new you out for a walk, which is maybe why Justin and Cameron broke it off.

I mean, he did bring “sexy back.”

Tragedy of the Commons

2007-03-07T08:29:00.000-05:00

You couldn’t write a better script than what Britney’s giving us these days. Better yet, Anna Nicole Smith. And maybe the life of one of the ballplayers who died in the recent Atlanta bus accident. Three incredibily interesting stories to tell. I’m curious to know if anyone’s booked rights yet. Or at least conceived a “based-on” storyline.

Meanwhile, global warming awareness is at an all-time high. It’s about time. Discovery Channel plans to air a show/segment called Plant Earth that explores the wonderous species dyanmic and landscape of our home. It’s presented in HDTV to really drive home the point that… well, if we keep it up all the beauty of nature you see will be devastated and the balance upset by our selfishness, indifference and complete lack of respect for where we live.

When I drive through certain parts of Atlanta (the ghetto) I am amazed by all the trash spread out along the sides of the road. Most heavily near mass-transit stops. Church’s Chicken. KFC. Zesto. To name a few. Bags of condiments, Coke cans, and napkins blown into and treaded among wirey dead or hibernating trees lining the road. Regardless of how messy one is in their own home, you’d think there’d be a little more pride taken in a clean and appealing community.

Maybe because there are bigger issues to worry about. Other things on the mind. Like where that next check is coming from. But it’s interesting to think what correlation there is between depressed financial areas and the literal trash surrounding them.

I like to imagine that despite varying incomes, we live in a community with roads lined in dogwoods, green grass medians, trash recepticals at various points along sidewalks and driveways. Hybrid cars, bicycles. Clean and maintained architecture and homes. People working in their yards. Community involvement in maintenance or socials. A bit tiring to keep up? Maybe. But the psychological benefits and optimism for better living would far outweight any negative socio-economic impact. And isn’t that what the ghetto is? The result of economics and (living up to) social assumptions?

I kind of liken it to feeling good when you’re looking good. Is it possible that by cleaning up a neighborhood, the general attitudes of its residents would reflect positive living? Better moral judgement? I would think that taking modest pride in something like where you live wouldn’t be shameful but necessary for health and well-being. Because you don’t have to be rich to be clean or eco-friendly; you just have to care.

Bread is the Body, Wine is the Blood

2007-03-01T09:46:00.000-05:00

“The Rev. Aaron McCullough didn't beat around the bush: Georgia lawmakers who vote for a bill which would pave the way for the sale of alcohol on Sunday will have "blood on their hands" if a fatal accident results from a six-pack purchased on the Sabbath.” (Access North Georgia)

Interestingly, Friday is the Sabbath for the Jewish faith and yet no complaints from them for selling on Friday. Why the issue for Sunday? Even more peculiar, what say does religion have in government. I mean, don’t we have something called separation of church and state? Oh, I see. We’re in the Bible belt. But Jewish people and other faiths don’t count. I see.

Stars in the Freak Show

2007-03-01T09:27:00.000-05:00

After watching American Idol last night, I hope for Antonella’s sake she is in fact the subject of those “graphically sexual” pictures we’ve all been hearing about. Because let’s face it, she’s just not a singer; but a hot piece of something, nonetheless. (Her brother’s not bad either.)

And so her family and township come to her aid. “Oh it’s not her,” they say. “That’s not her topless on the beach” or “engaged in a sexual act.”

If it IS her, she’s going to wish she had fessed-up once she gets kicked off Idol. Because once that 15 minutes is over, you’ll do anything to get it back. Besides, what’s wrong with a sexy, naked picture? When you’re old and your boobs are drooping down past your knees, you’re going to look back and think “Damn, that was fun” or “I looked really good.” After all, in the grand scheme of things, it’s just a blip on the radar. Nobody died. A dead body isn’t sitting in a freezer for almost a month. I mean, this isn’t news, people.

Now, what IS news is if in fact it isn’t her in the pictures. Because that brings up all sort of other issues, and it’s not so much that she’s naked, it’s that someone faked the photo and misrepresented her likeness and/or identity. It’s fraud. And THAT is the issue. Less about her, more about the phenomenon of manipulating photographs.

Take for instance, ole Harry Potter. Is that REALLY Daniel Radcliffe’s lower half? Do you really think his parents and publicist thought it in the best interest of his career to release a photograph like that? Granted, it is tasteful, and it keeps the integrity of the show. But I don’t buy it. A credible actor wouldn’t disrobe unless it’s integral to the film/play. (Or for a Vanity Fair shoot.) And if that were the case, I would think the actor/studio would be forthright about the identity of the nude body because why would it be shameful if it’s legitimately/solely to promote a production or editorial?

What’s interesting is what impact Daniel’s nudity in Equus has had on the success of the show. I’m sure it’s good despite the fact, but I think it’s odd that it’s getting such rave reviews… and there happens to be a full-on naked 17-year-old boy center stage. I don’t know; call me crazy. Same for Antonella.

I heard on Star94 this morning that so many people are rooting for her. I shutter to think it’s because – as Celine Dion would say – she’s “zee greatest signer in zee world.” It’s amazing what doors open for beautiful people.

Britney Joins Ranks of Every American

2007-02-19T18:13:00.000-05:00

The FX TV show Dirt couldn't make this stuff. Because it's not so uncommon to shave your head. Unless, of course, you're Britney Spears.

She looks really sad, doesn't she? The reason I decided to post this is not to keep up with the media. The fact is, this could be anybody. And the real story: how does someone get to this point?

I say this because for a long time I had longish hair. It was golden and wavy and very 70s-looking, and I was complemented on it all the time. Then one day, I decided I wanted to cut it off and traded my locks for a military cut. I don't know what I was thinking at the time; I sort of had this anxious feeling. Truely anxious (for anyone who's felt it), and I had to do something "with all this hair". It either wouldn't do what I wanted it to do or it would get in the way or I just "hated how I looked". So impulsively I cut it, thinking I was in the right frame of mind. When in fact something else was going on. Because afterwards, I hated myself even more. My ears stuck out. I had an odd shaped head. I wore hats for two months.

This begs the question: what is "that something else" that's going on with Britney?

A month back we all saw on YouTube and later on national news, the mock story of the bride-to-be so competely devistated by her hairstyle that in a moment of complete "rage" took scissors to her hair and cut it all off. It was a joke. A well-acted joke... because it was believable. It's conceivable to think someone could freak out as much as to cut off her own hair.

In fact, this happens all the time. I don't know what it is in people's psyche that triggers it, but like the man who commits murder and can't explain why, I couldn't explain the need for me to cut off all my hair so impulsively (trivial as it may seem).

Maybe Britney had just reached that point. Can't a girl get fed up? (No pun intended.) I mean look at the life she lives. How could you not go crazy? (Also, no pun intended.)

I'm not standing up for her recent behaviour, and I hate that I'm even blogging about this... but I'm sure on some level we can all relate to having that breaking point.

Spanking a child. Road rage. Binge drinking. Lashing out at a partner.

And we regret it every time. I'm sure Britney is; so, let's leave her alone. Before she does something really stupid.

Photo courtesy: TVNZ.co.nz.

Confessions

2007-01-30T16:48:00.000-05:00

Today is the release date for Madonna's Confessions live album and DVD. (Actually, I think it was yesterday.) In any event, I downloaded it today, and my, my. It is amazing. Almost as good as the real thing. My boyfriend and I went over the summer to see her in Boston. 10th row, center. Amazing. Nevertheless, you might have seen her show on CBS last month. Don't let that be an indicator of the show. They left out a lot ... including Live To Tell for reasons which I will not go into but am disappointed about nonetheless. I recommend checking it out on iTunes. You can listen in on some of the tracks. Erotica is simply amazing. It seems as though it was a take on an early version of the song that was morphed into what was ACTUALLY released. I find it much more interesting. Sexy. Kid-friendly even. I suppose with Lordes and Rocco watching Mummy that it would suffice. Brilliant work. Check it out.

Budokon

2006-12-03T12:26:00.000-05:00

First off, for those of you who didn't see Saturday Night Live last night, Amy Poehler's "Weekend Update" monologue about Britney Spears' Lambrogini slip was hilarious as she got off on tangents like the wonders of a woman's "lady garden."
I saw this on CNN and was completely blown away by it. It's called Budokon, and it's a yoga hybrid that integrates martial arts, meditation, and holistic healing.

Strange Fruit

2006-11-20T18:52:00.001-05:00

Strangely, the commercial for Fruity Cheerios, in which rainbow-colored cereal is caught mid-air against a white backdrop, resembles a child molestation scene from the movie Mysterious Skin.

Holiday stocking stuffer

2006-11-15T20:52:00.000-05:00

Alright guys, I know you love your good-ole-boy, Republican Jockeys cause they're all conservative and dad-like. And you hike 'em up to your belly button like a pair of granny panties. Bitch, please. If you could rock a basket like this guy without a trouser snake, suspensory, or sock, you'd do it ... even if it seemed a little gay. I mean, look at it. Look at this man's unit. He could poke somebody's eye out with that thing. It's huge and bulbous and you don't know whether you should get down and worship it or secretly shoot daggers from your jealous, hateful eyeballs. It's commanding and you want it. You might even feel "alpha" enough after putting them on to shave your chest and abdominal hair. (If you haven't already been tempted to do so by that other jealousy-inducing commercial for Phillips BodyGroom shaver. Faggot.) So, you stand there in your new skivvies looking in the mirror and everything looks as it did until you turn to the side, and then, bam! You knock something over on the counter because your package is so fucking huge it'd knock just about anything out within a foot radius of your existence. "I really am a size queen," you think. "Am I gay?" Then, your girlfriend walks in with her Wonderbra and models and whatnot and you try to hug each other but you just can't because you're both poking each other and putting distance there and argh! It's awful. (But you look good.)

And that's all that matters.

Introducing the men's version of the Wonderbra. Meet the Wonderjock.

Men, it's time to lift up and push out. Let's see those bulges.

Sean Penn addresses anger, attitude during marriage to Madonna

2006-11-09T22:52:00.000-05:00

Sean Penn said recently about Madonna that he had not realized that "she had a visceral need to feel loved not by a man but from the crowd." Penn goes on to say that that doesn't excuse his being uncontrollable with her. (Ciné Télé Revue)

More 'O' with oats; Nicole Ritchie; Madonna/David News

2006-10-27T18:38:00.000-04:00

"Is there anything I can eat to boost my sex drive? Oatmeal. Anything made with oats will help increase the amount of testosterone available in your bloodstream. Oats produce a chemical that frees more testosterone to surge through your blood supply. The higher the testosterone level, the greater your sex drive - and the more powerful your orgasms." (Men's Health)
"I assure you it doesn't matter who you are or how much money you have, nothing goes fast in Africa."
In famously "skinny" news, Nicole Ritchie has decided to undergo treatment to determine why she's unable to put on weight. And to think someone out there is getting paid to tell her simply to eat. Though a more empathetic me wonders if she's just undiagnosed hyperthyroid, which if it were the case, would make the non-believers (e.g. the media) look really stupid ... yet again blowing things out of proportion a la Madonna versus Yohane.

Sniffing out a shot alternative; A blow to Apple; And speaking of blows and apples...

2006-10-25T22:39:00.000-04:00

~~"Other manufacturers of portable devices cannot be used to play iTunes downloads"~~. Not so much.
Flu season is here, and after last year's lacking supply, we're all stocked up. Too late though, there's a little-known alternative now making headlines nationwide.
"If your partner objects to giving you oral sex because, well, it just plain tastes bad, an apple a day might help. High in natural sugars, fruit reportedly blesses men with sweeter seminal fluid." (Men's Health) Let's give it a try, guys. Let us know how it goes.

Yup, that's me.

2006-10-24T20:54:00.001-04:00

Coming Soon

2006-10-02T22:00:00.001-04:00

New me. New blog.

Ahhh!

2005-01-21T00:49:00.000-05:00

January 24 is the most depressing day.

You shouldn't be reading stuff like this buddy. Just remember 'hibernation'. Hibernation is a positive time for you and the body... a chance for your mind to take a deep breath and prepare of the months to come.
~ Jay

C-IN2 @ WETbar

2004-12-10T04:26:00.000-05:00

Me and the boys went out to WETbar last night. I drove contactless and like a maniac.

We'd gone to Universal Gear on Peachtree earlier that night to watch boys with glistening porn-star skin walk around in their skivvies. I, of course, only went for the free booze and finger foods. Two vodka tonics later, I found myself listeing to this man go on and on about how to make a backless skirt and thinking to myself, "What would happen if I just walked away while he was in mid-sentence? Does he know he has a piece of cauliflower caught in his teeth? Did I lock my car? Why do virgins give the hardest erections?" Suddenly, I realized was no longer smiling and nodding at what he was saying and excused myself for another drink.

Later at WETbar, I found myself sipping martinis and smoking cigs in true Karen Walker fashion while David and I eyed the boys dancing on the bar in their undies. C-IN2 was having a party there replete with scantly-clad boys promising an underwear fashion show and WET-brand lube wrestling contest (reminiscent of Old School). It made me and David want to kill ourselves; so, we decided to go to a bar where we knew we'd be the hottest things there… the infamous leather-levi bar, The Eagle.

*peed on a silver Honda*

We ran into Charles Register and Chad there, and it was dead. Not as exciting as we had hoped. But we danced until the wee hours of the morning with no reminders of what fake beauty we had left behind at WETbar.

And I'm not shallow, but on some nights, I think I'm entitled to be a little jealous of the way others look. I don't typically put so much emphasis on it because people are different and unique and beautiful in there own ways, but boy, those boys sure were pretty.

But who am I kidding, crazy beautiful trumps fake beauty any day. There's a light in there that's much more alluring.

Two Days of Lesbian Living: Get Me to a City

2004-11-24T23:27:00.002-05:00

Yes, we're in Asheville. Yes, it's raining, and yes, that's my finger in the photograph. And even though I'm not very good at it, I still like taking pictures; so, fuck you.

'Overheard' Installment #9

2004-09-01T01:13:00.000-04:00

Overheard at Blake's last night: “...Getting shot was no accident.” (Brian Cox)

'Overheard' Installment #8

2004-08-21T13:09:00.000-04:00

Me and Angel took our bikes over to Publix at Ansley to pick up supplies for lunch today. Rice, corned beef, and plantains. Yum!

Last night at the bar, patron Josh from Rocky Top came up to me and said, “I just thought you should know there’s someone taking a crap in the urinals.” *long pause* I think I’m ready for a new job.

Overheard in Angel’s kitchen: “People may doubt what you say, but they’ll always believe what you do.”

Davy Fiveash Makes Us Happy

2004-08-20T17:51:00.001-04:00

Here's Jason + Sean making nice in my backseat. We'd been out celebrating David's sale at Mountain View. Thank you Charlie and Jacob for hosting a great after-party party, and Gus, I'll never think of Paris the same way again. Hot!

My Swim Date w/David

2004-08-05T01:57:00.000-04:00

I picked up David this afternoon to go swimming at my complex but on the way over realized I was out of crazy pills. We stopped at a drug store on the way back to my place, but their pharmacy was closed for lunch and wouldn’t reopen for another 15 minutes. I said to David, “Well Dearie, whatever shall we do?”

Two drinks later at the bar next door, this out-of-town, leather-bear daddy named Wayne approached me about taking a picture of my hairy chest. Before I could say anything, David said, “He’ll do it for $5.” We went outside and he took my picture.

Back at the bar, David and I had another cigarette and commented on how interesting it was that for the second time this week I had been paid for my body. Our topic of conversation shifted to hustling at which point Wayne asked if we were available for the rest of the afternoon. He told us that with no expectations he’d get us a limo back to his hotel and that we could use the pool and amenities there in exchange for our company.

I was freaking out, and David said, “We need to have conference. Give us a minute.” David turned to me on his bar stool and said “Michael, I like getting into trouble.” I told him that I’d only do it because it was the two of us, and I knew if we did it together, we’d be safe and that nothing would happen.

We arrived by limo at the Marquis looking unkempt like two hookers in West Hollywood. Wayne went up to his room and said not to disturb him for an hour or so. Sketchy. David and I walked around the hotel looking for the pool. We ran into some kind of convention, and in one of the empty conference rooms, there were a few unopened sodas lying so we nicked them and went on our way.

It was an indoor/outdoor pool. We jumped in with our shorts on, treaded water a little bit, and ended up on the kiddy side where we lit up and tried keeping our ashes from blowing into the water. I just couldn’t believe we were there. It was so bizarre, spontaneous. And what was Wayne doing upstairs that he didn’t want to be interrupted!?

After running around the pool with cigarettes hanging from our mouths and debating whether or not we should get something to eat and charge it to Wayne’s room, we ended up in the sauna where at one point we both looked at each other and asked, “Do you get naked in a sauna!?” followed by, “I’m sweating my brains out… how long are we supposed to stay in here?”

Starved and having been mischievous and fabulous for a good hour and a half, David and I decided to call Wayne’s room and tell him that we’re going. He said he was on his way out anyway; so, we met in the lobby and waited for the limo. It never arrived. Twenty minutes later he got us a cab back to the bar, where he asked me to help him take off a pair of shorts that was covering his backless chaps and leather thong. He was in full leather gear, harness hidden underneath his shirt. It was great. We said our goodbyes, and that was that.

We had a good laugh about it. David had a camera with him; so throughout the day we took pictures as a way to remember our day of fun and of course our new friend Wayne. Anyway, when I get my hands on the rest of his film, I’ll be certain to upload more of our photo diary.

.

Another Night of Boring Ol' Work

2004-07-22T15:33:00.000-04:00

I watched the city perched atop my throne at the back door last night. It fell silent at the usual time during the week. A boy prostitute passed by. I thought of Frank. An ambulance drove down Piedmont. I thought of Jason and the night 300 Stonewall never happened.

And as I stared off, plotting ways to take over the world (an activity I usually reserve for what Jason calls the War Room), I saw a car stopped at the intersection of Piedmont and 10th turn into oncoming traffic. Granted, it was 2 o’clock in the morning on a Wednesday night, and the streets were, for the most part, empty. But that didn’t take away from the Kubrick/Twilight Zone -ishness of it. I mean, how often do you see a car driving down a one way in the opposite direction!? And on a night like this and in the gentle frame of mind I was in, I couldn’t help feeling a little weirded out by it.

The car drove off into the distance and finally disappeared behind some trees, and I waited to hear a screech or a bang. But there was nothing. I got chills and remembered Large Marge from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Maybe it was ghost car. Aahhh! *freakin’ out*

Overheard at Blake’s last night: from two guys leaving the bar together and in a telling voice, one said to the other, “...So, where do you live?”

Adrienne

2004-07-11T17:45:00.002-04:00

Jason is so funny. Last night, we went out to City Café after I got off work. We’re sitting there staring at waiter Jack is who built like a brick shithouse and listening to Nasty by Janet Jackson over the loudspeaker when Jason says, “That’s not Janet.” And I’m like, “Yeah it is.” And he’s like, “No it’s not.” And I say, “You need to brush up on your divas.” And out of nowhere he says, “Whatever. Whitney’s my diva. And she’s doing so much coke these days, she can’t even see straight.” It was COMPLETELY random… so much so that I almost laughed out my orange juice through my nose. I pictured Whitney… cockeyed and rubbing her nose with a rolled up dollar bill threaded between her fingers.

Earlier that night, I was hanging outside the bar with Frank, an older heavy-set black man who loves him some young white boys. He’s a photographer and I’m into photography; so, I started chatting him up when this girl approached and handed me her ID to get into the bar. I caught a glimpse of her and the picture, city and state, and told her I was from North Carolina, too. Then, it hit like a ton of bricks and at the same time for both of us, I think, because just as I was about to say, “Hey. Don’t I know you?” she had already started pushing out that first breathy “Hey.” Here was this radiant thing who I remember being so awkward in high school (much like myself) standing in front of me and at the front door of one of the most popular gay bars in Atlanta.

Long story short, she’s visiting her lesbian sister in Decatur and went on about how she was down with the gays. And after having such a difficult time, socially, in high school, it was really nice to hear.

I’m reminded that times are changing and I am optimistic, hoping that Kerry leads Bush in the poles later this year.

Strange Dreams

2004-06-17T13:51:00.000-04:00

I’ve been having really strange dreams lately. Last night, I dreamt Madonna was on Larry King. She was pregnant with her third child and had just cut her hair to resemble Nicole Kidman’s character Joanna in The Stepford Wives. Guy Richie had left her for another woman; Madonna walked in on them having sex. It was awful! I’ve never seen her so broken down. Earlier in the week, I dreamt she’d been thrown from the back of a motorcycle, hit the ground, and skid a few feet on the pavement sans helmet. I went over to her and yelled out for help; her face was so mangled from the skid that she wasn’t recognizable.

I had another dream last night that I was being fucked by this thin, black man. He was condom-wrapped and inside me, and I asked him, "You're not HIV positive, are you?" And he said, "Yes." Then something awful happened… I threw caution to the wind and continued to let him fuck me.

Pride Around the Corner (Toot-toot, Beep-beep)

2004-05-30T23:41:00.003-04:00

Today, I entered Oscar Mayer’s contest to win the Wienermobile for a day. I can hear it now, “So, Michael. What did you end up doing this weekend!?” Entries are judged on creativity, originality, and service to the community. I thought what better way to use the Wienermobile for good than to enter and drive it in Atlanta’s annual PRIDE parade. PRIDE is an event that takes place in June in cities around the world, celebrating the gay rights movement. What better way for Oscar Mayer (and myself) to say we support you than to drive a giant wiener down Peachtree Street?

Jason and I ended up going out to Burkhart’s for the Armorettes Sunday night drag show. I only mention this because we were witness to the most hilarious, most disgusting performance ever. One of the drag queens was doing a song by Whitney Houston - Saving All My Love. Well. This bitch sits her ass down in the middle of the performance, pulls a dildo from her pants, and starts jerking it off. Nothing we haven’t seen at a show before. But when the chorus starts and she begins to mouth the words “saving all my love,” cum (or what appears to be cum) starts shooting out of the dildo. So of course, the house goes wild because well… it was really funny. Completely unexpected.

Even more unexpected was that at the end of the song, she licked the cum off her hands, pulled a zip-lock bag from her breasts (already filled with stale cum) and spit the load into the baggie. The crowd gasp. It was silent. I thought I heard a cricket. Then... reams of applause and laughter.

I will never, ever think of Saving All My Love by Whitney Houston the same way again.

Later that night, Jason and I did after-the-club commentary at the Heretic. We’re kinda like Joan and Melissa Rivers covering the Emmys. This is our chance to give back to our people, say hello, and get our names out there. Because let’s face it… you’re nobody unless people know who you are. (That’s funny.)

We stood outside and thanked everyone for coming and said, “Drive home safely.” I even threw in a few added comments like, “You don’t have to go home alone” and “After-party at my place.” We always draw such a crowd that we’re thinking of starting an auction where guys going home alone can bid on each other so everyone leaves happy.

Anyway. When we got home the paparazzi was waiting for us. (My apartment complex is very cruise-y.) Jason laughed and said I’m gonna have to start going out in wigs and sunglasses. Maybe I could get the Armorettes to donate a get-away get-up.

Are Prince and Suze Orman the same person?

2004-05-29T13:43:00.000-04:00

Jason said the funniest thing last night. I had gone over to his place to fight a little bit and work off some steam. We ended up watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Oxygen; it was a rerun, and Prince was on the show. Anyway, Prince performed Kiss. We started talking about him and making general comments about his career and how fabulous his makeup looked. Anyway, I said, “I can’t see him having sex with his wife. He’s such a little, feminine guy. I just can’t picture him hittin’ it.” We sort of had a laugh about it. But out of nowhere, Jason said, “Yeah. He’s kinda lookin’ like Suze Orman now.” I love the Suze Orman show, and he said it and I about fell off the couch; it was just so random. What do you guys think!? Prince. Suze Orman.

The Next Big Thing

2004-05-28T13:46:00.002-04:00

I applied for a bar job at Blake’s today.

Bye-bye Bam-Bam

2004-05-27T23:32:00.002-04:00

We buried Curtis today, and it was a sad day.

It was hard seeing him; I’m used to there being such light and energy radiating from him. Curtis was one of the first friends I made at UNCC, and being so new to the world, he took me under his wing and told me about the way of things. And I grew exponentially by knowing him – because he was there when I became me, transitioning from an awkward, socially inept freshman to an empowered, headstrong adult. And like a proud brother, Curtis watched over me every step of the way. He was more than a friend; he was a mentor I had a great deal to learn from… and still do, even in death.

Thank you, Curtis, for all the laughs, the ups-and-downs (because how else would we grow and learn), and for making me feel so special and so important when no one else could. Thank you for showing me that it’s what’s inside that counts. But most of all, Curtis, thank you for pulling me out of my shell and introducing me to the world. My light shines brighter because you believed in me, and I am a better person for having known you. And I know you, Curtis. You will be missed.

My thoughts and prayers are with your family.